Your Eyes Open
by spero spiro
Summary: [The nightly trips to see Roxas sleeping were the only way I survived the days without him.] AxelRoxas. Companion to “If You’re Gone”


**Your Eyes Open**

**Note: This story is the second a string of four stories focusing on Axel's experiences after Roxas. The first story is already up and is titled _If You're Gone_, and this, and the two stories to follow it, are its companions. The stories stand quite well alone, but sort of lead toward one another. So, it's kind of like a set of stories. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, period. These stories are my interpretation of them. Please, don't sue.**

**Description: The nightly trips to see Roxas sleeping were the only way I survived the days without him. AxelRoxas. Companion to "If You're Gone"**

I searched for a long time to find Roxas. I scoured world after world, praying for some sort of trail that would lead me to him. No one had heard of him, seen him, or anything. It was when I was in Twilight Town that I discovered the Old Mansion and knew this is where the trail picked up.

Within a day, I'd found Roxas.

I didn't immediately talk to him. Instead, I spent days and weeks just watching him. It was a Roxas I had never seen. This Roxas was strong willed and loyal and stubborn like the one I knew, but he laughed and smiled and joked and was carefree. The one I had known was so self-conscious about his lack of Heart. Even when we were _together_, the doubt would show in his eyes momentarily… It would show until I made him forget the doubts in a haze of heat and passion, and a storm of feelings we weren't supposed to have. And during the afterglow, he'd look at me with sorrowful eyes and tell me it wasn't real, whatever I thought I felt.

I just told him that if it wasn't real I didn't care. I didn't want to hear it wasn't real because it was real enough for me. For someone who wanted to tell me that my emotions were real, he certainly showed the melancholy and sorrow that he said didn't exist. If he could have his sadness, I could have my love for him.

Once, I remember telling him it was all in his head. We may not have had hearts, or the memories of being whole, but we remembered what it was like to have a Heart and that was enough. If you knew what the feelings were, and what they had felt like, then we could certainly know if we were feeling them again. He just shook his head quietly, closed his eyes, and lay with his head against my chest, listening for a heart that couldn't beat.

It became my habit to leave the Castle That Never Was every night after I knew Roxas would be asleep and stand next to his bed every night. Every night, he slept fitfully, but when the dreams calmed down for a while, he'd curl into a ball. I had never known that he slept in the fetal position until the nights I spent in his Twilight Town room, but that was because he had slept every night with me and had no reason to curl up and protect the core of his existence, where his heart lie.

There were many nights that I got all the way to the side of his bed, ready to wake him up, take his hand, and take him away. No explanations needed. Just take him and run away from everything and explain everything on the way. And if he didn't remember, then I'd show him and I'd make him remember. There were nights that my hand would make it all the way to touch his face, gloves off, and then I'd pause, just watching him sleep. I was cautious, afraid of waking him and not knowing how to explain it all to him. Sometimes I just wanted his eyes to open and see mine and remember everything, and everything would be okay again.

The nightly trips to see Roxas sleeping were the only way I survived the days without him.

Finally, the night came that I knew would be the last. I knew things were going to come to an end soon, and if I had any hope of getting him away, it had to be by confronting him. I did, however, want one last night to watch him sleep. And during that last night, I opened a dark portal behind me so that I could just step back into it. I leaned down, pushed his hair out of his face, and caressed the side of his cheek.

"_Roxas_." I sighed, trying desperately to swallow my pain. A half instant later, his eyes opened and stared into mine. The connection lasted only an instant before I stepped back into the portal and disappeared into the darkness, but it was enough for a thundering to begin in my chest and my breath to catch. Whether or not the pounding of my heart was imagined, I don't know. Roxas forgot the encounter entirely, chalking it up to the remains of a dream. But the feeling of my heart beating… Maybe it was as real as the dream he thought it was.

But I could swear by it.

**End**


End file.
